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Monday, June 21, 2004
  Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison

This book was as intellectually stimulating as watching a blind goat rape a treestump. I've never been as horrified in my life as I was by this terrible, terrible disgrace upon writing. I have to wonder where people come up with some of these images.

I think this book would be more help to my option. 4 stars

This was a very unusual book. It had no pictures. It was a realy good book but it was sort of hard to read. It took lots of time for me to read this whole book. Mostly what I liked about this book was all the detail the book went into. It was a reaiy great story.  
Monday, June 14, 2004
  And we're back (provisionally at least).
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

How can anybody like this book? Whoever said this is the best classic ever written must be truly brain-dead. What could be enjoyable about a book that primarily consists of a guide on:
a) how to cut grass,
b) how to hunt bear, and
c) how to abandon your own kid for a gigolo.
If I wanted all that stuff I would have read Farmers Almanac.
By page 200 all I wanted to do was set the dogs on Vronsky, Levin and his vapid bride-to-be and I would have gladly jumped into the book and shoved Anna off that platform myself. And much much sooner too!!!!

People who say that this is the best RUSSIAN novel really have no clue. They obviously have never heard of, much less read "The Master and Margarita" by Mikhail Bulgakov. Now, that book is really something to talk about.

I think a reader would be much better off just picking-up a Harlequin to read (less weight, less annoying characters and practically no farming manuals at all) or, if you still want to know the story, just rent the bloody movie with Greta Garbo. At least that is only two hours of suffering as opposed to.... months.
Wait? The Farmer's Almanac has all that? To think of all the time I wasted just watching the local news.

This is one of my all-time favorite books. Whenever one of my girl friends is having a relationship problem, I give them this book to read, and it always makes them feel better. The various related stories show both the good and bad sides of relationships. While the book is titled Anna Karenina, I think most girls can relate to Kitty and her heartbreak. If you just endured a break-up, this book is worth the read I wonder if this woman even has any friends left?

We must ask the question is this a novel of greatness or is it just a long Mills and Boon piece of flummery. The answer is in the book is a tabloid love story.

Leo was the ugly kid at school, the kid who got left out of games. When he got older the girls would laugh at him, he would be the last one standing at a dance. Girls would make up excuses to leave him of their dance cards.

His revenge for the terror of his childhood? This book is he revenge for his childhood. What is the plot, the plot is about an amiable dodo (read Tolstoy) who flounces around and is unlucky in love. What happens in the end he finds true love. Even his crack pot theories on farming are realized.

What happens to the woman who is the title figure? Beautiful people can't survive in books written by nerds. Beautiful Anna has to have a disastrous life and be betrayed by her handsome lover. (Handsome men can't do the right thing in a novel written by the ugly) She then has to kill herself in a climatic end her punishment for being beautiful and for every rejection that Tolstoy ever had as a young man. Read it by all means but literature no.

You know in your heart I'm right
Leo has cooties! 
Friday, February 06, 2004
  Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert

I hardly know where to begin. It stinks. It's boring, dull, and makes no sense. Who the hell is the guy in the begining? So she killed herself. She deserved it, the sleazy tramp. There was no life in the text. It was just there. A great big insipid blob of nothing. The best thing about it was finishing reading it then burning it in the fireplace slowly. Worst money I'd ever spent. Bitter, bitter.

When the Bill of Rights was written, cruel and unusual punishment was banned. The cruel and unusual punishment invisioned was not as cruel and unusual as being forced to read this book! Plus they took away our right to arm bears!

Yes, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and just because something is considered a classic doesn't necessarily mean one has to like it. We aren't robots. What appalls me however, is how often I hear many young people and adults for that matter, using the word boring when reviewing a book. I am so grateful that my parents didn't allow me to use that word without a reprimand. My mother, a voracious reader, always told me "David, if you're bored your're boring". I always got on the defensive when told this. As I grew older I began to understand what she meant. On a planet with so many books to read and so many ways of looking at what the books are saying, how can anyone ever be bored? If a book doesn't interest you, put it aside and don't read it, but please, never call it boring. 
Monday, February 02, 2004
  The Woman Warrior : Memoirs of a Girlhood Among Ghosts by Maxine Hong Kingston.

I was quite irritated by how Kingston seemingly tried to use Chinese mythology, but did not stay true to the story. I don't want to hear her life story! The only life story I would ever want to hear about would be of my own, my pet gerbil Foo-foo, and possibly the Dukes of Hazzard. I was forced to read this for a Writing class at UC Santa Cruz whose writing faculty most likely consists of a bunch of zit-brains. My suggestion to anyone who is required to read this book is to pretend you've read it and make stuff up as needed. This mainly amuses me since the book in question is one of the texts for my current writing class.

This is simply a terrible book. Including myself, my poor Ashley had to read it and suffer the horrible stories contained in this book. To put it simply, all Kingston does is continuously insult non-Chinese people and spread ideals that should have been lost in the void of time. She also continuously complains about America, without any ideas for fixing her "problems." The story has no sense of organization, purpose or time. It continuously jumps around a terribly written story that noone could make heads or tails with. This book is not worth the $8.80 or even a blue light special at K-Mart, with mail-in rebates for the entire prce. Infact, people should be paid to read this book. Nonetheless, even with ANY knowledge of the Chinese culture, all this book paints is propaganda for barbarians.

Frankly, I'd rather stuff wild weasles down my pants
Me, I'm more of a ferret fan.

Well, at least I think they liked it. 
Monday, January 26, 2004
  The Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick

I read this book on the way to a business trip to Aruba. I wished I would of watched the movie on the flight. Who are the people writing these reviews? This book was horrible. I lived in Japan for 5 years when I worked for Toyota, and this is not the kind of life they live. Even in parts of the country where Western influence has not spoiled the old ways, people don't live like they are portrayed in this book. And I understand the "underlining meaning" about this book. Still, it is boring and the writer can't carry the story. He leaves many loose ends. This book is great for people that have time to think about these underlining themes. Most of these people think they are so smart to figure these themes out. Most everyone else understands these thing, but don't care. Theyw ant a book to entertain, not to expand their mind. If you are in a career you love, work for a living (unlike some college proffesor) and enjoy your life you understand these themes already. So get a life. Read a business bio about someone who built this country! Not a book by someone who hates life and did not get enough attention for their daddy.
Ah, sweet bitterness.

This Story is about Dunce, a young man who wants to grow up and be a police detective. He is on a trip with his friend Daryl to Scotland to visit his father, who works for a historic company. The second that Dunce arrives at the castle where his dad works, he is told by police that his dad was missing, and that they have no clues. The very next morning Dunce and Daryl went into the kitchen, and saw blood everywhere. A trail of blood led the two boys to a barn. As they walked inside they saw the maid hanging from her neck, and she has been stabbed several times in the back. When Dunce and Daryl returned with the police, the body was gone. The police thought that the boys were playing a joke on them. When Dunce returned to his rooom, he noticed a letter on the floor. The letter is from the killer. The letter says that if he wants to see his dad again he needs to come to the old cabin in the forest tonight. As Dunce arrives at the cabin, he saw his dad and the killer. Dunce is shocked. The killer was his mother. The mom wanted revenge because Dunce's father cheated on her many, many times. Right before she shot his father, gunshots were fired. It was the chef. He has killed Dunce's mom. Dunce and his father are now saved.
Well, what more could I add to that.

I cannot believe I invested time in this book. It started off great, but then dragged and dragged. When Wegner spilled the beans about the German invasion plans, I thought the book would take off, but it was hardly ever mentioned again. The characters were flat and boring. And the ending, AAAAGGGHHHH!
I am a salesman, and read all kinds of books to relate to my clients. If I ever met anyone who liked this book, I would run the other way. One question to whoever liked this book: Do you have a job or do you work at Borders and wear a turtleneck and have 15 piercings and smoke dope?

Bitterness redux. 
Friday, January 23, 2004
  Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe

Well.......I think this book well, it just SUXED. I could not understand this! It makes no sense. Why coudln't they just at least change the names you could at least pronoucne it, ne ways if you plan on reading it, your want lots of time, so u can understand it. Good Luck...
So this is the sort of insight that I missed while I was consumed with work. Yay?


I did not like this book at all. My english teacher makes us read these books about culture which I do not like at all. They are usually boring and not what I expectd. I wish we didn;t have to read these books. When I was readin it I thought it was okay, but then it got way to culteral for my taste. I have to give Achebe credit though, because if I did like these types of books then it would be awesome book. I mean I liked some parts when they explained there culture, and i also liked the parts when I read about there different ceremonies and stuff. Anyway If you arent the tyoe of person that likes to read books on culture you shuld not read this book. Ew...culture. Yet the reviewer did give it 5 stars.

This book was good!This book was good!This book was good!This book was good!This book was good!This book was good!This book was good!This book was good!This book was good!This book was good!This book was good!This book was good!This book was good!This book was good!strong> So, you liked it? 
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
  The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros

What the hell is this, people giving this book 5 stars!! IT SUCKED, and i only read it because I HAD TO!!!

*Esperanza and her college Chum Spirit Bear Viciously Maul ROnald Reagan Jr To Death*

See, this book is violent, and it teaches people that it is ok to live in a poor mexican comunity in down town chicago, and that it ok to steal cars and viciously maul small children with your sharp claws and fangs. Mexicans are lawn care workers, nothing more, they shouldnt write a book about them!!

This book encourages Peaganism, and is against the ways of Christ!! It should be BURNED!!

Good Day Yo!!
-Leanza Cornett

PS. Join the Cuban Mafia!!

The book House On Mango Street was a book written for herself. Sandra Cisneros wrote this book for the females of this world. I believe that she wants women to have the same thoughts as her, and that will never happen. Cisneros has an evil view of what men are. Does she hate men all together? I think that she is an angery woman all together. This book was a horrible book, and I feel bad for those who have to read this! yes, it's all a plot to turn people into the book borg.

My name is Jenny. Jenny is a common name. That's why I wanted to change my name. In first through third grade I wanted my name to be Cristina or Summer. In fourth and fifth grade I wanted my name to be Mandy because I got the TLC CD and I was reading the background of the poster of them and I saw that name so I decided that I wanted to be called Mandy sp that's what my friends called me for a while. Then in seventh grade, I went to Africa and there was an African man who asked me for my name so he could carve it into a browm Moliki nut he also carved animals on them. In addition the person who made it spelled my name differently. So from then on, I spelled my name J-E-N-I instead of J-E-N-N-Y. Now I only use it for fun and I got used to my name Jenny.
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