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Wednesday, July 30, 2003
  Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo

This book was a waste of my time. I did not like the story about the antiwar. I did not like Joe it had to much discription. I want to go to war when I am old enough to know the meaning of death. I've got nothing....

This book was a requirement for my high school Englis class and to me that is sad. By requiring students to read this book is like teaching poor citizenship and to not have pride in helping you country. After pludging through a slow and monotonous start I did find some part'sdescribed so well it's as if I could feel them. But overall I found the book to be a bore and insulting to some of the things that I believe in. I find it hard to believe that a citizen and soldier would have the attitude that Joe portrays. Yes, it stinks to be in his position, but the bias anti-war views are layed on a little thick. To be anti-war is to be anti-freedom. Joe should be proud to have served his country and quit his whining. If anyone is looking for a real war book I suggest " The Red Badge of Courage" that is a book that portrays the horror of war, but also the honor of serving your countries purpose. Avoid Joe's snotty attitude and don't read this book. Daulton Trumbo has to skill to be a great writer, it's just to bad he wasted it to express his extremly bias and whiny views. We all know that war isn't pretty, and to those veteren's who have suffered so I can enjoy my life today the way it is I'm grateful, but if Joe were real I would leave his name off of my Veteren's day list. Oh no, the book espoused a viewpoint that you (obviously) disagree with! Horrors! Please, if I condemned every book that I didn't agree with on a philosophical level, I'd hardly read anything at all.

this is one of my favorite books ive ever read. i cant believe its not a required book at my school. were to busy reading that shakespere crap. this book will make you cry. its incredable. it completly changed my views on war, and life in general. i mean, if your reading the reviews to decide to spend the money to buy the book. im trying to find the movie, blockbuster told me its not being made anymore. if anyone has info on the movie I'm beginning to have serious doubts about the high school English classes of America.  
Tuesday, July 29, 2003
  Moby Dick by Herman Melville

Dont waste your hard earned money on expensive sleeping pills, which can sometimes have dangerous and fatal side effects! Take the safer, easier route to a good nights sleep! Buy this book! It will do the trick, I garuntee.

However, if your looking for a good book, dont read this, you will only become agitated. Such was the case with me. I am quite the fan of stories which involve man eating sea creatures, such as Jaws. Moby Dick is nothing compared to such classics, I fear.

In fact, it is boring with a capital B. What is the whales motivation? You dont know. There is no suspense, and I find the idea of people hunting whales offensive. Offensive with a capital O. Whales are lovely, peaceful creatures and that is why their slaughter has been outlawed. This book makes whales seem like demonic, murderous creatures of doom. Such a thing should not be read to a child, for it preaches that animal cruelty is ok. Never before have seen such an abundance of immoralality! I am offended! I feel as if my brainards are going to freeze over and crumble like spoiled peanut brittle. Take my word for it, dont read this book
My brainards are freezing over as we speak.

Boy gets whale. Boy loses whale. Boy gets whale. Spawns yawns. It's a classic romance.

I personally do not like this book because it was so long. it does not have a bad story line. So i suggest that you read the younger version no matter what age you are. The only way you should read the full thing is if you really love to read, have alot of time, and like alot of boaring points. In this book there is a whale and some men. the men espesially one man was after the whale. i will not give away any names. The whale overpowerd the people all except one. the end was not that good eather. i suggest this for older people who do not have much to do. except read a long book. I can fully understand not liking Moby Dick, but this review is just depressing.

And God created [ Sperm Whales ]" so Herman Melville could write Moby Dick. 
Saturday, July 26, 2003
  The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton

My mommy is helping me write this review because I can't read yet.She read this book to me and she said it was good so I will take her word for it. Bye bye and peace always. I just spotted a funnel cloud so I going to crawl my self down to the basemant.
Basement, huh, think that you're to good for a cellar?

ZZZZZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPP. This is a good book I liked this book. The book was really good its mostly for mature kids because theres a lt of killing, violence, and they swear. My favorite favorite characters are Dally, Johnny, and Ponyboy. Then Johnny and Dally and Ponyboy saved the little kids out of the burning church. Then the Soc were trying to drown Ponyboy so Johnny killed Bob a Soc. Then the Soc ran away. The part I lked the best was when Bob killed the Soc.
Can we make the use of 'whazup' a crime? Anyone who runs on that platform has my vote.

this is a great book. an even better movie. VERY CUTE GUYS IN THE MOVIE! rent it. now! Or I could just watch Heathers again.

I think that if you dont like this book you are just whack. This book could be the best book ever written and you dont even know it. I love this book. I think it represents how are school is with the sk8erz and the preps. (I am a sk8er). The author of this book rules and doserves some kind of special award or something. I recomend this book for people who dont like to read, because after this book they will want to read it over and over again. S.E. Hintons classic novel is the bomb. i have nothing else to say so i better shut-up. "He was a sk8er boi , She said see ya later boi " (I'm sorry) 
Friday, July 25, 2003
  A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

This book was so bad, I considered it bad. MY eyes burned out. I almost was at the point of suciude after the first page. MY friend George suggested I read it for a book report. I didn't relize it was April Fools. Now Goerge is dead. Heh.

Maybe im being to hard on old charlie...then again maybe he was drunk when he wrote it, i sure felt like i was, it was terrible it never ended and never got to the point! it was like being bombarded by blather for 7 hours... it might have been better if charles had put in a little effort into it, but i think he had a deadline for the maggazine it was being put in and his publisher was giving him crap, for anyone 16 or under i would not read this, high school students beware, dont try and do a report on this...thing. Does it completely geekify me if I admit that I read A Tale of Two Cities for my 6th grade book report? Most likely.

Never ever read this book. It sucks piles. If you read this book you must be stupid. You probably so stupid you stare at a bottle of orange juice for 3 hours because it says "concerntate". Dont read this book I would stare at juice if it in fact said "concerntate", then when I was done I'd buy never buy juice from that company again. 
Wednesday, July 23, 2003
  Backlash by Susan Faludi

This book is a work of hate. The hatred of men. That is what Faludi and women like her promote. Half way through this book, I felt the same way I did when I was reading Clancy's Red Storm Rising. "The war effort continues." Red Storm Rising was about a Soviet plan to conquer Western Europe.

This book isn't a battle plan on how to conquer men. It just talks about all of the troubles the war effort was having in the 80's.
Huh? Tom Clancy?

As a women who wasn't subjected to the Reagan 80s, this book makes me look at how women, like my mother were treated. This book is a great resource for anyone interested in seeing the other side of pop culture's babble. I recently read an infertility study printed in The Oregonian, citing that women's fertility was falling. The women used for subjects were between the ages of 15-35. I don't know many teenage girls that feel they need a baby in their lives. I also found that the critics of this book came from one source: men. Even the people who didn't give their names mentioned women in a distant manner that clearly indicates their are male.As a women who wasn't subjected to the Reagan 80s, this book makes me look at how women, like my mother were treated. This book is a great resource for anyone interested in seeing the other side of pop culture's babble. I recently read an infertility study printed in The Oregonian, citing that women's fertility was falling. The women used for subjects were between the ages of 15-35. I don't know many teenage girls that feel they need a baby in their lives. I also found that the critics of this book came from one source: men. Even the people who didn't give their names mentioned women in a distant manner that clearly indicates they are male. See this is why re-reading your review may be a good thing.

Get a life you stupid broad Oh, that's real mature.

Tuesday, July 22, 2003
  Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly by Anthony Bourdian

Tony Bourdain does not need my pitiful words! He is my God of all things food-wise! Funny! Insightful! And a HUNK! Is Nancy lucky or what! Great Book! I was lucky to read it free at my library! I learned a lot and I will never-ever eat seafood on Monday- esp., since my sons own a seafood market in Florida!
Write MORE, Tony Bourdain since I have read ALL your books!

A star wants to be born, amidst the puddles of animal fat, screams and blood. A star who finds sensual pleasure in frying animal fat and who openly hates vegetarians, compassion and anyone who's not as twisted as he is. An individual who longs for the exquisite taste of monkey brains (were the monkey's craneum top is removed while still alive, to die only with the trust of the metal spoon). This person embodies the worst of the qualities that have made the French so famous: a decadent sensory obsession and experimentation where anything and everything goes (and has), coupled with the arrogance and disdain of a people who long for appreciation they've never gotten. My veredict: This book is just another brick of the wall that separates France from civilization. Why all the hostility towards the French? It's one question I may never figure out.

This is a good book that should be read poolside. Ya gotta agree with his description of vegitarians as people scared of life. I do?  
  To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

this book is to long and there arent eny car chases or bombs going off and i wuz bored and it would make a lowsy video game. Yet my Sim family based on the characters are doing just fine.

I'm sorry everyone. I don't see why this book is so fabeulos. I would give it a zero. I find no point in writing a book about segregation, there's no way of making it into an enjoyable book. And yes i am toataly against segragation. I've caught my self in english class asleep. Also if your gonna write a book, give more detail please. I'm getting so fed up with it i just got the cliff notes. Read this book if you read every book that is such a hit. But rather than that burn all the pages exept the last chapter. Thanks to all my friendswho had to tourchure threw reading this disgrace and supporting me in not likeing the book. By the way, DO NOT BUY, because if i find it in your house i won't think to kindly of you. Oh no, internet teen will not think kindly of me! My life is ruined.

The only good thing about this book is that the storyline os OK. However it is kind of retarded. What kind of person call there dad by there first name. Also who knows if Boo and his family are "strange" because no one will ever talk to them. Gah! Here we have one of my few pet peeves, casual use of the word 'retarded'. Okay, we now return you to the regular broadcast.

TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD is one of the most overrated and hyped books of our time. It's an uneven paste-job of short stories and pieces by Harper Lee promoted by her liberal New York publishing friends.

Some sections are absurd, such as Ch. 26, where third-grade students in a rural Alabama school in 1935 have a discussion about Adolph Hitler's treatment of Jews in Germany.

Without the compelling 1962 film version, this novel might have been forgotten by now.
Liberal New York publishers is going to be the name of my new band. Once I learn to play an instrument that is. 
Friday, July 18, 2003
  The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien

This is the absolute worst book ever written. I still can't believe they killed off Frodo, the supposed star of the trilogy, within 175 pages. That's just ridiculous. Also, what's the deal with the zombies??? I re-read that section 3 times and I still didn't get it. Did they eat Gandalf or not? I still don't know. If you're looking for a confusing book filled with wordy descriptions of fish and the walking dead, you're in luck. Otherwise, you'd better find a new book. A great boook. What's the deal with the zombies? The eternal question.

just noting: all of the one star reveiws say its too wordy or slow. is this commenting on their intelligence or the book? That's pretty darn mean, but I don't mind.

The book,The Fellowship of the Ring , is classified as a Fantasy or maybe even Science Fiction,but the author writes it likes it's history. It's a lot different than any other fantay I've ever read because it's not the kind of book that you can tell like a bed time story. The story is written like hard-core facts.And who's to say that it isn't? Yes, it's real. That's why Jude Law is coming over tomorrow to make me dinner. 
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
  Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson

The word "insanity" can easily be used to describe Hunter S Thompson's work within the pages of "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas." If you are a person that cannot see the sanity within the words: "As your attorney, I advise you to tell me where the god damn mescaline is." Then this may not be the brochure of life for you to follow. And it may be your lucidity in hazard from the readers that enjoy/understand this handbook. If your the type of person that, even though you haven't gone on a mescaline trip, you can still see the beautiful hypocrisy of life and understand that drug use is far from drug abuse, then this book is your guide.

I see that within the quote, ”…god damn mescaline”, Hunter doesn’t capitalize the ”g” in “god.” An important lesson I discovered while exploring the art of reading. It doesn’t offend God when we use his name in vain, as long as the name is spelled using a lower case “g”. He spells his name with a capital “G.”. It is by this same rational thought process that I think God wants a certain chosen few to experience LIFE. Maybe, even the sub-culture of LIFE within the city limits of Las Vegas. To experience Vegas as Thompson describes it makes it just as it would be to space travel. You will travel to a place far away wHerEe iT onLy mAkEes seNse to take a “medication” that allows your body to behave in a manner that shows a person how little in control we really are. A place whEre iT oNLy mAkeS senSe to get thrown out of a Debbie Reynolds show, in search of the God sent laughter that is sure to follow.

Yes, it is that planet I wish to experience life. Unfortunately, we all can’t experience this place. But by Gods great gift, we can hear it described in a fashion that reminds us all the while to enjoy this joke of time we call LIFE
Okay then........

Without hunter s. thompsons imput into the litarery world america would never know the truth! The truth is out there.

Dr. Thompson is truly the greatest word-smith of his time. His thought process he portrayes are those of unworthy millions who can't spit them out. Dr. Thompson is truly a credit to his profession, a towering god in the "new journalism" world. For those who DO NOT enjoy his readings.....your simply lame. Thompson's books are where it's at. Buy the ticket, take the ride.. Yet another entry in the "OMG ppl who don't lik this sux!1!!" series. 
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
  Atonement by Ian McEwan

Ageing starry-eyed yuppies will eat this solipsistic-self infatuated sugar tart of a book right up as it’s passed from sweaty palm to palm through all the precious literary boutiques frequented by urban liberal elites. The snob appeal is impressive; every faddish academic/critic will want one to maintain good social odor with their colleagues, dour men of letters who missed out on the Nobel Prize who specialize in the sexual anxieties of financial planners (zzzzz), and trendy California newspapers soliciting manuscripts for 30 something movie studio executives who crave “serious” recognition and full page advertising for Oscar nominations. Those who believe the life-style choices of arrogant prep school frat boys is anything but the posturing of conceited social climbers will enjoy this trashy melodrama. A contrived, pretentious bore of a novel. Meetings of the deep bitterness society will be held Fridays at 8 p.m. It is requested that you RSVP and bring a covered dish.

This book completely blew me away with the fact that the main charactor never ever uses the word tractor. This was about the only thing I enjoyed in the book. As a professor of micrefonology I was shocked at the way roosters are portrayed in this book.

In short, I would reccomend this book to anyone who loves pumpkin pie.

Thank you,

Professor Horace Montgomery
Hee, tractors are funny.

How anyone has the audacity to say of someone of Ian McEwan's stature and brilliance that he is just "aspiring to be called "literary"" is flabergasting to me. Who are these people? When they have 8 to 10 best-selling, thought-provoking, mini-masterpieces under their belts, maybe I'll give them a listen . . . Please attach a note if the dish that you bring contains nuts, as many members of the society are allergic. 
Sunday, July 13, 2003
  The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison

This book was a waste of my time. Oprah had me believing this book was about a black girl named Pecola and how she thought that if she only had blue eyes, then everyone would love her. Instead, I read about incest, domestic violence, prostitutes, alcoholics, nasty-behaving white racists, and home after pathetic home with not a trace of love anywhere. This book is depressing and confusing. Maybe someone should tell Oprah to lighten things up a bit...and no more Toni Morrison! So, how's East of Eden working out for you?

I was required to read this book for my Honors English class over the summer. Wow...I was VERY suprised that they made a 17 year old read this in a public school. The story is badly told, you can hardly understand it because it jumps from character to character, there is so much talk about...,and who wants to read about the traits that we already KNOW our society focuses on today: Blond-haired, blue-eyed people are the most beautiful and we should ALL strive to be like them. The author at least was gracious enough to admitt that when she wrote this book, she didn't have enough sophistication...Why this book won a Nobel Prize I do not know... *twitch*

white bashing at its best Im sick and tired of whites being blamed for blacks behavior start taking responsibility for your own peoples actions this book is trash I would rather clean the toilet than suffer through another morrison garbage read *scream*

Friday, July 11, 2003
  You Shall Know Our Velocity! by Dave Eggers.

How can I describe? The paper is nice and pleasant to touch(very, very nice paper) I couldn't stop touching it . . .I liked the pictures. . . especially of the circled bird. . . (what a perfect circle!) I think you should read this book. . . it's an experience, but not for everyone. . . some will be bored. . . there doesn't seem to be much of a point. . . much the same as life. . . try it and you may like it. -- There rarely is a point.

Dave Eggers is from just outside Chicago. So am I even though I don't live there anymore. I read his last book and thought it was totally great, and on so many levels I could totally identify with that Eggers opus, even though my life has had less tragedy than his. I haven't completely finished this book yet; I bought it for my sister for Christmas and she's just finished it, so hopefully I can snatch it from her and read the rest of it for myself. But I give it five stars anyhow simply based on my complete confidence in Dave's abilities. I watched Dave recently on that Dinner for Five program on the IFC channel. I was psyched to watch Dave interact, and he did a great job and was the best one there, but the show ... mainly because of Favreau and Pantoliano constantly tooting their own horns. Each episode it seems, Favreau slips in some reference to Swingers. Kind of sad, like an old lad constantly rehashing his glory days. And what was up with Pantoliano? Trying to identify with Dave just because one of his parents died of cancer? And I nearly lost it when he asked Dave what the title of his book was. What a joke. And could Garafalo been more annoying? But anyhow, you people should buy this new Eggers book. Dave, get off the computer. Now.

I think that this is the Perfect book. If you have read AHBWOSG you will know what I mean. This book has everything in it. It is creative as well. With pictures and explanations placed here and there. I couldn't put it down. Dave Eggers is the next great American writer. Buy this book and join the future There's honestly nothing strange about this review. However, the line "join the future" puts images of glassy-eyed zombies advancing on me chanting "Dave...Dave...Dave" into my mind. Yeah, I'm a freak.
Thursday, July 10, 2003
  Dune by Frank Herbert

This book brought me near suicide. I was so depressed after reading this pie that I wanted to go eat a goat. Don't eat goat, it's chewy.


Get over JRRT please! Anyone who doesn`t give Dune the credit it deserves can go back to whatever spoon-fed novels they were reading before. If on the other hand you are interested in actually engaging your brain for the hours it will take to read the Dune series then welcome... .............................

1. Read the book during the summer-time

2. Download the song "Final Dream" from the 80s movie "Dune"

3. Immerse yourself in water and/or listen to the song.

4. Break out in tears.

This book will change your life forever. :)
I'm more partial to using excessive caffine consumption to change my life, but whatever. 
Monday, July 07, 2003
  The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger




I had thought that Flipper was the only porpoise.

I can't imagine any southern belle worth her baton and tiara reading more than 50 pages of this book. I finished only because I was supposed to review it, but egads and little fishes, it is bad.

No southern belle would put up with 11 minutes, much less 11 months of not being able to (1) leave her desk (2) speak unless spoken to or (3) eat lunch ... just so she could be at the beck and call of her self-important, puffed up, manaical boss, even if HERself was the 'most important woman in fashion.'

The author completely lost me when Andrea had to go get more coffee because what she had broken her neck to bring to the office was cold and when her boss screamed at her to hurry it up with her $92 lunch, only to order her to toss it because she had already eaten with someone else. Having a pilot fly across the Atlantic just so the boss' twin daughters could each have their own Harry Potter books three days before the release date was a bit over the top.

The final scene (no spoiler here, because you KNOW the girl has GOT to develop a backbone at SOME point before the tale is over) is no big whoop, either. A southern belle woulda caused such a woulda been the talk of the town for years to come when "the boss" finally got what was coming to her.

I guess that's why America's fashion elite gather in the Big Apple and not Atlanta. We wouldn't stand for such nonsense down here.

If like is really like this in the fashion industry, there's something seriously wrong....seriously
Yeah! We wouldn't stand for that here either! Oh, wait, we would.

Still trying to figure out why this one was topping my 'personalized' recommendations. Probably for the same reasons that I keep getting recommended Who Moved My Cheese?
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