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Sunday, August 31, 2003
  The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugendies

I had to read this book for a college class and I couldn't believe the professor would assign such trash. The book made Catholics look bad, trivialized female emotions, and was just too depressing. Literature worthy of study? I think not. This read like a bad Lifetime movie. Wait, that's not exactly right--Lifetime movies are sometimes entertaining. Plus, Lifetime movies often star Delta Burke.

 
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
  The Hours by Michael Cunningham

Just cause you won a Pulitzer Prize don't mean you can lay down heavy pipe in your old lady's aqueduct for hours and hours without missing a beat. Respect yourself. Well, that's just....ew.

No, I haven't read Virginia Woolfe. Why should I have to? Michael Cunningham's book should stand on it's own, and for me it doesn't. I was suckered by the old Hollywood bait and switch when I bought the book, The Hours. Michael Conningham's book is a Pulitzer Prize winner after all. And the movie has recieved high praise from Hollywood. Oh, I forgot...from Hollywood. What was I thinking. I could just be imagining this, but I think book and movie promoters alike realize that the majority of people would not by choice choose a book or movie with a strong homosexual theme; therefore, to get us to lay out the money they talk it up big and keep the wool pulled over our eyes long enough for us to buy the book or the movie ticket... These agenda propagators must feel it is their duty to enlighten us (about what I don't know), but I feel more like I am having something shoved down my throat. Hey, what ever happened to free choice...before I pay the money? No, that's too much to ask...they would loose too much money and have to start promoting books and movies that people would choose because they were attracted to the subject matter. Also, I was wearied by the lesbian kiss theme running through the book...it was a metaphor for what?...a lesbian kiss, weak. If a woman is insecure about something according to Michael you have a lesbian kiss and are redeemed somehow, no, sorry Michael. If he wanted to develope a homosexual theme he should have spent more time on Richard. I wanted to understand his suffering more...find out if he had any regrets.(i.e. Tom Hanks in Philadelphia...yes, I saw it. But the promoters were upfront about that one; weren't they?) Or maybe he could have explained more about why he didn't pursue Clarissa. Or he could have explored further what kept Richard and Clarissa so close after all the years that had passed. However, I will say he was on to something with the cake metaphor and the relationship between Laura Brown and her little boy, Richie. (I was touched by Laura and Richie's relationship.) So to sum it up folks if you write an agenda book now days you can get a Pulitzer and be automatically put on Hollywoods "A" list and have your book made into a movie. I wish I had spent my money on Virginia Woolfe. That's quite a little essay.

This is a great book.
In response to the "too contrived" reviewer who said this:

"I don't think you can "cover" literature in the same way you can cover a song."

What about Shakespeare? A lot of his works were "covers."
True, but that was only because Marlowe couldn't sing.
 
Tuesday, August 26, 2003
  The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck

Stupid socialist themes almost always bore (look at the last third of "The Jungle") and this book is no exception. Unless you're a high school teacher who is hell-bent on warping young minds into America-haters, this book is not worth the time, money, or energy to read. Did Steinbeck think that a sleezy political opportunist like himself (remember, he was a big proponent of the Vietnam War when it was being run by Democrats) can actually produce work of quality? Come ON.

Think about the values of this book--irresponsibility is rewarded (who asked the idiot Okie farmers to borrow from the banks in the first place?), immorality is scoffed at, at the same time religion is put down ("I was 14, randy as a billy goat"), and capitalism gets the blame for an economic system that was anything but capitalistic (why else have oranges and potatoes thrown into rivers other than to prop up prices pursuant to a command economic policy?). Gradually this book i! s coming to be seen as nothing more than a product of the proto-"Hate American First" crowd, which is why it will continue to be popular among high school teachers.
Uh-huh, that's nice.

You'll want to use this thick boring book as a nice pillow after reading it for 1 minute. I've used books as pillows, it's not very comfortable.

Pee, u. This book has all the makings of a real crapper. At first I thought it might be interesting but then came Grandpa Jode and the book went downhill ever since.-------------------------------------------------------------------------

This book is sooooooo boring. Discription after discription. I fell asleep on it about 6 times. I reccommend that nobody read this horrible book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ah, it's good to be back. 
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
  The Tiny Little Librarian sends over some reviews of Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.

'Pride and Prejudice' is tedious. Sure, there's some tepid
commentary on the submissive role of women and the strict social
conventions, but there's no action! These characters observe -- not
live -- life. I prefer Jack London.
For some reason (sleep deprivation) I can't help but wonder what Pride and Prejudice would be like if Ah-nuld had starred in the movie.

This book would be perfect for a coffee table. No one would ever
with to talk about it. When I read it in high school I thought it to
be the most boring book I ever read. I didn't care about all the
people trying to be married, etc. I just found this book to be an
upper class soap opera. Anyone who likes upper class, sappy, drawn
out scenes of lovers trying to get each others attention can read
this book and be enthralled. For the rest of us, I would recommend
you read a modern romance novel. ALL modern romance novels would be
better than this, even if written by William Shatner.
Don't drag the Shatner into this.

This book may be considered a "classic" but it isn't. It may
deal with "emotions" and "the human spirit" but it lacks the
qualities of true literature. To be blunt, the book is boring. There
is too much description and not enough meat. The story seems to be
leading somewhere, and when you get there, you wonder why you took
the journey in the first place. I plead to the human race not to let
writers get off this easy by writing such unfulfilling books. Skip
Bronte and read Hemingway or Poe.
I'll skip Bronte, but can I still read Austen?

Please, this was an utterly unconvincing and boring novel. If it wa
written today it would be internationally acclaimed for being a
dummed down soap opera. Unfortunately, having been composed in, what,
the 1830s, it has become a period drama style romance novel, where
instead of foreplay, they have to bow and curtsy and everything.
Althought this may appeal to worthless romantics, it will not perform
well to the MTV generation.
Right.............

Me no could read that book good. It too slow. Me like better book.
Me like Tales from the Crypt. I no think any one should read. I would
not read again. If you like torture read book. If you smart spend
money on beacon soda
Okay then.

In other news, Amazon World is going on vacation until the 27th. So get out and enjoy the end of summer. 
Saturday, August 09, 2003
  The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

the book is nothing but a democratic self centered view of life. i could care less about reading a book with a cry-baby wining about his life. this is the type of action that drags this country into the black hole of depression. if a book moves a person and it does not have the words holy bible on the front of it, it shows how lost the person it "moved" really is. So, can I interest you in copy of Prozac Nation?

What in the world are you doing? Why are you reading this book. If you knew the history of this book, you lot would not be reading it at all. If you do some research into the book, you would find that Lee Harvey Oswald, Jack Ruby, Sirhan Sirhan, James Earl Ray, etc, (all assasins) were found to have this book on their person when they were caught. It is thought that this book it the code name behind the CIA MK-ULTRA program (from 1952 - 78). I would never read it. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Vaccum cleaners tell you a lot about life.
I like corn chips with salsa.
Audio Image.
Darts are not good for clothing labels.
CD's are grandpa.
I like it a lot even blue underline.
That's nice.

This book is the most wonderful book I have ever read. It has everything in it that could be appealing to any such person. The adventures of Holden Caufield are entertaining and my dog's name is pow-wow My cats' names are.....

When all you have is hope, hope is all that you need. That's the entire review. 
Tuesday, August 05, 2003
  Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel

Well Lizzie: Wonder what you would have done just a mere 60 years ago, when the nation had not been saved by WWII. What would you have done before the transcontinal RR was built, and if you wanted to get to San Francisco, one walked or if rich, rode on a horse or mule? The problem with today's younger generations is that they have no concept of history and what it took to stay alive, just a few years ago. This not the Age of Aqurius, but rather, The Age of Whine. The cult of someone did to me and it is not my fault, is in accendance. Don't waste time on this one!
When I was your age...we had to walk 6 miles uphill to school. Even in the snow, and it snowed every day.

Stop whining Elizabet Oddly enough, this was a 5 star review.

Elizabeth Wurtzel hits the nail on its head when it comes to the truth of depression and youth in America. Prozac Nation shows everyone that thinks that depression is just a cry for attention that it's not. It is a disease and that kills the youth in America. Youth in America are just trying to find a way to express them selves, all they want is for some one to reach out and catch them because they are falling and all we do is shove some pills down their throught and tell them will be "ok." But it is never just "ok" they need help we all need help. Look out your window see the kids with the Prozac smiles and broken hearts. Elizabeth Wurtzel tells the truth about depession in Prozac Nation. Large parts of this review rhyme, and that amuses me for some reason.

Elizabeth Wurtzel does a very good (but not great) job of relating her experiences with depression. Along the way, she touches on some very interesting facts ("500,000 heroin junkies can't be wrong" hehe!) not to mention some very dark humor. The bad part of this book is that the end plays more like a Prozac ad than something of substance. For several pages she rambles on about how she was saved by Prozac and about how far ahead of other anti-depressants it is and exactly how it works. Now all that needs to come is the sequel where she's addicted to them and is affraid to get off. Trust me: I would know. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 
Friday, August 01, 2003
  Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

O MY WORD COULD A BOOK BE ANY MORE BOOOORING? I MEAN COME ON! HOW SHOULD I KNOW WHAT ALL THOSE FRENCH WORDS MEAN? THE BOOK IS SO HORRIBLE AND IF YOU LIKE IT, THEN FINE, BUT I'M STATING MY OPINION! AND I HATE DESTINY'S CHILD! Huh, what's this about Destiny's Child?

This book stinks. Who writes this stuff? Come on, who cares about the 1800's, much less the stale, stifled personalities in them?
Give me a good car explosion or a towering inferno. 'Nuff said
I'm going to guess that writers from the 1800's write it.

I have to read this for my summer assignment, its due in 3 days, but Im not gonna read it...why? it looks dry as hell...so my advice? dont read it! Wow. Just wow.

If you are a MALE, and are forced to read this book, do not even attempt to read it. Go with Cliff Notes. If you are a FEMALE, give it a try. The only reason schools asign this is because a woman wrote it. Email me your comments. *twitch*

Do you like incredibly pointless books that serve more as lullibies than useful stories? Are you a completely uptight, butched feminist? If you answered "yes" to either of the above questions, Jane Eyre is right down your alley. This is required school reading simply because of the weakness of all other female writers! Bronte is nothing more than a token. *scream* 
  The Stone Diaries by Carol Shields

What a boring awful book. It stoned me into boredom. I hated it so much I wanted to cry. Can anyone really understand how this book won the PULITZER? Mother of all that is good, who was the final jury on awarding this book the PEW LIT ZER!!!? Is it possible to retract? I recommend Shields' novel _Swann_, which is a real testament to her prosaic nature and gift of storytelling. But oh man, this book SUCKED!! I only thank God that I bought it at a used store. Small miracles. Yes, the PEW LIT ZER.

There are certain books you read that make you stop and think: "Lower than rock bottom. There never was a worse book written. Never." During those dark times, you gullibly believe that. Then, turn around and there it is!!! A puff of smoke! Magic! Something comes along that's even worse. Such was the case with this novel. Boring, inexcusably long, overly complex, vulgar. To be very eloquent: BAD. Just plain BAD. BAD BOOK. BAD. Um, I didn't like it in case my point wasn't clear. (I'm a traitor to my country!) So, not a fan then?

What on earth were the Pulitzer prize folks thinking? There surely were better books written in 1995! Our book club had a tough time getting through this one - in fact some did not finish it. This is an incredibly mundane book about a bunch of dull, humdrum nobodys! I get the "honor" of writing our book review each month and usually have no difficulty finding the right words to describe the experience. However, I find I am too much of a lady to say those words for this book experience on a public website! THE END! I love the word humdrum; it needs to be used more often, even though personally I loved this book.

Finally from the Department of misdirected mail department;
II click on Mara, Daughter of the Nile and I get The Stone Diary. There's a mistake in your system. 
Highlighting some of the more interesting user reviews found on amazon.com.

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